Kale Omelette! (Delicious!)

Hey guys! So, while I was at college, my friend Callie bought a GIANT bushel of kale, which is a vegetable I always thought tasted absolutely gross. As we walked to meet our friends in the lobby of our favorite building, she implored me to take a huge bite, and her eyes got really big with excitement, so of course I complied. She ensured me it was organic and locally grown and tasty, but it was horrid, and it made my tongue green for like six hours. Then she let me try this new type of purple kale she bought at the farmer's market... and it was STILL gross! How could this raved-about superfood be consumed so happily and so widely?

I actually discovered that kale is INDEED delicious when cooked because of this recipe I got from the lovely Callie, who made a few of These Here Omelettes for some of our friends one night. Callie had sautéed some kale in olive oil until it was almost crispy, and then poured egg on top of it. I cooked the recipe today, doctoring the food up with a few spices I found in my kitchen. This recipe took just a few minutes, and it hit the spot right before we went to a huge party, because we're in college!

This recipe is perfect, because it takes like two seconds, which actually means about 10 minutes total. And there are only three primary ingredients, all of which are stupid cheap and easily accessible. Yay studentry!

3 main ingredients, man.  I garnish omelettes with hummus because hummus is love

I obtained a pan that was the size of my stove's burner, to prepare a single omelette. Estimated a handful of olive oil, and inserted that into the pan for fryin'. Cool. I then put in a bushel (teehee bushel) of kale that just about filled the small pan. This looks like a lot of kale before the kale is cooked, but greens SHRINK like nobody's business when they're cooked. I can't emphasize this enough, kale SHRINKS like there is LITERALLY NO TOMORROW. 

But I'm not kidding when I say that sautéed kale in olive oil is the most delicious food I have ever tried in my entire life, doe. And then I added some spices, and MMM MMM MMM, I concluded that I would be happy eating kale by itself for literally all 3 (or 7) meals today. 

Ever since discovering sautéed kale my home life has just been like

So yeah, I added a few spices too! A lot of spices. But really just a few. Here they are. The little white one on the left is Lemon Pepper, which sweetens the dank vegetable. So does the ginger. And olive oil is a delicious Butteralternative, for preventing Egg Stickage and cooking and stuff like that. Oh and Galric is Flavr too, just don't add too much of this or food will taste icky. You want this to taste kinda sweet, really.

Pepper Spice, Big Spice, Baby Spice, Oil, Corner Spice to cover a spider

So, this is what the kale looks like cooked! It shrinks A LOT, I swear I didn't eat more than three leaves. Kook the cale (I had to) on medium-low heat, for just a few minutes until it looks like this picture. Once bits of kale start turning brown and crispy, you've gone too far, so stop cooking before you get kale chips. 

THIS IS REALLY REALLY GOOD

The next step, of course, is mixing up some eggs to prepare for Omelettery! I used two eggs for this particular endeavor.

What my soul did after I played the same Smash Mouth song on repeat for a week

Somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me So I mixed up the eggs really well in this cup before I poured them on top of the kale. I then kept the heat on low, and used a rubber spatula to lift up the sides of the omelette, so any uncooked egg on top could run underneath it. The olive oil had the pan lubed up and ready fo' cookin. Also dat olive flavor is so good with this dish.

Thinkin bout dat rabbit food omelette

I flipped it onto a plate and it was GORGEOUS! The kale leaves are beautifully intertwined with the golden egg, and it looks like... a vine. A gorgeous vine growing on a gorgeous house. Or like a Vine® of a gorgeous omelette.

I love to garnish with hummus, since it's really tasty and kind of like a cheese substitute. This is entirely, absolutely, unintentionally vegetarian as well as powerfully healthy.

That heart shaped hummus was an accidental blessing from the universe

Delicious! Until next cooking time!